Grief has dropped a bomb in my life. I am shattered, blasted, blown apart and all but nearly destroyed. Amongst the shards, amongst the debris, i live. I don't know how. I can't see. I can do nothing but feel the pain that is within me and around me. I don't understand, i will never understand. I lay down amongst the rubble for i can do nothing else and i cry, like i have never cried in my life before and i think why you Mum. Why this? And somehow without knowing how,i uncurl myself and brush yet more tears from my face and i walk. I begin to pick up a shard, a broken piece of my life here, and a broken piece there. They don't fit together anymore, they can't. There is no going back to what once was. And as each tiny fragment begins to shape itself anew, so do i. My shape is a stranger to me now and to everyone else. My pieces have become you.They speak of your strength, of your courage and they speak of you, the vulnerable you, the broken you, the loving you and the wonderful you. I still miss you everyday Mum, and i'll love you always and forever.Im lonely without you. I miss being your baby. No one will ever love me the way you did, the way you always will. Soon we'll be together again Mum, til then i'll hold you safely in my heart.xxxx